Even for my standards… But yeah, another good lesson in life… Life moving onwards without you… Bye… Thanks for a not so great relationship…
|LUSAKA (Reuters) – A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.
The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.
“He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,” a police spokesman said.
The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers.
The hen was slaughtered after the incident.
Let’s spread the word. Me myself am gonna go to JTB again to complain, with more people backing me up this time. And I’m gonna cause some fucking mayhem there. Just you JTB fucktards watch.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Someone will pay! Someone will fucken pay!!!
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Spanky, a clown with the renowned Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, has been arrested on charges stemming from a child pornography investigation, law enforcement officials said Tuesday.
A clown huh ? Can it be more obvious ? heheh 😛
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh…
Our sad story started on a cold, dreary, wet night at the Mall. It was raining outside so I didn’t want to leave the Mall ( a decision I regret now, I should ‘ve just fought the damn monsoon ), checked my phone it was a quarter past 9. I decide to ride the escalators up and down the floors to waste some time, and yes I am a child at heart, a big chubby child at heart.
On my third ride up and down, I noticed this fine looking girl. She was shortish, petitte, kinda Orientalish looking leaning towards Eurasianish ( yes, that is my type ), she had the sweetest smile from about 15 feet away. So I stopped at the first floor of the Mall walked to the balcony bit, where you can look down into the middle of the Mall, and started doing the looking at her and looking away thing. My plan was to walk over and pretend like I know her or have seen her somewhere.
I did the looking at her, looking away thing for about 10 minutes, prepared my line and walked towards her. And it when down like this ( mind you, I left in the Malay bits for those who can understand it. 😀 ) :
Me: “Hmmm… I think I know you… Macam kenal…”
Her: “Iyakan ? Have we really met ?”
Me: “Yeah… where was it ? Di mana ah… ?”
And then I just kept talking with her for about another 5 minutes. It was a nice medium length conversation, nothing too stupid on my part ( I think 😛 ). But then all her friends started too swarm around us. And I was panicking and getting freaked.
Me: “Any kawan-kawan you ni ? Are these all your friends ?”
Her: “Awu… Yes… this is bla bla bla ( wasn’t really listening )”
Me: “Hello… Hi ! ( /me waves enthusiastically )”
Then next came the part where her friends pulled her away and started whispering with her. I heard someone mentioning “stalker”, “chubby” and “do you really know him ?”. She had a wierd look and walked towards me.
Her: “Do I really know you ?”
Me: “Yeah remember from tha place with that thing… ( /me starts to get flustered )”
Her: “Di mana… ? Where… ?”
Me: “Remember… ( /me starts to sweat profusely ) At the pluhh… ”
I didn’t get to say “place” when she snapped back.
Her: “Malas ku kan me-LAYAN… !!! Uh uh I don’t CARE… !!! Talk to the hand biatch !”
Then she walked away with her friends.
Dammit ! I got shot down right in public. I blame it on her friends. Why do girls have to move in packs like goddamn wolves ?!? Why ?!? Her friends ruined it for us. I was sooooooo close. ( Ok maybe I was a wierdo stalker, but that was a long time ago 😛 )
And yes I’m taking lessons from Souljah. He promises “Join and you’ll be a PLAYA in two weeks or your money back” ( Actual slogan on ad 😛 ).
Haha so maybe I’ll report back after my lessons. Man ! Here’s hoping I won’t get shot down again. Ok maybe not in public. Ok maybe not at the Mall. Ok maybe not at 9:15. Oh man! It’s so damn obvious I’m gonna get shot down again :P.
Yes, I’m helluva broke… Makes me think twice about splurging on my friends and the missus… But ah well, a man’s worth is his friends or stuff like that…
Let’s see. What have I been up to. Ah yes. The operation. The operation to remove that weird thing from my ear. Man, I’ve had that thing (cyst maybe?) since, like, ever. It was like on Monday, the 24th, which I was supposed to have my Computer Systems Architecture test on the same day. But yeah, I had a letter from the ENT or Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist Doc to inform the lecturers so it was all good. Also helped my friends to understand some concepts the previous night so at least that got me out the house and that also got me to think about things other than my impending operation.
So I got into the ward at 7.45am right, and I was told to go to bed number 13, (lucky 13!) and change my clothes to those god awful prison garbs. Then proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. Then my friends came over to tell me about the god awful test that they had, so it was cool seeing them. Then like, I don’t know, 10 minutes or so after they left, the help told me to get ready to be carried into the operating theater.
So got ready, got on the carrying bed, and was pushed all the way to the theater room. I’m telling ya, the feeling of looking upwards toward the ceiling, as if your field of vision is limited, and whats more, I was naked from the waist under, so it was sure as hell I ain’t gonna be running from last minute nerves. Got into the waiting area after being asked some standard questions, then again waited.
Just as I was waiting, there was another person being operated on just adjacent to the room I was in, which will be my operating theater after that. I was listening to the heart beeping thingy singing its merry rhythm, when I heard that apparently the surgeons were finished with their jobs. That’s when the scariest sound you can ever hear in an operating theater was echoing loudly throughout the room. The sound of silence.
I was like freaking out that the old man was not responding to the doctors plea to breathe in heavily. I was just about to get up when I reminded myself that my butt is pasty white and I’ll look ridiculous running away. Then the sweet sound of the heart beeping thin started again, and I was helluva relieved.
After the old man was pushed out, next it was me. I was then pushed under the bright lights, and prepped for the surgery. After some local anesthetics was delivered to the skin around my ear lobes, I began not to feel my ear. Then without fanfare, the doc just punctured the skin of my lobe, then asked “Does it hurt?”, answered no, then he continued merrily cutting away at the inner connectors of the cyst thing to the innards of my ear lobe skin. I’m telling ya, listening to the rustle of the scissor cutting away at my ear lobe is not something I’d like to hear all the time.
Then, the doctor asked me, “Do you wanna bring this thing home?”, “OH YES! OH YES!” hahahaha. Yeah I get to bring it home! Then he put it in some formalin solution and then he sew me up and I was done. Not long after, I was pushed back to my ward. I then immediately took pictures so I can upload it to b0g, then remembered that my friends brought me some cigs. I immediately put on my pants (very important) then started for the door, making sure that the nurses doesn’t see me (and stopping me from smoking).
Got home at 6! Yay! I was sure as hell not gonna stay over there at the ward. It’s so damn depressing and that place is filled with bacteria, you just can’t believe it!
Oh that b0g post? http://www.b0g.org/wsnm/news.php?artc=12419. I’ll post all of the pictures from the day to a directory and serve it all out. Uploading pics one by one is a helluva bitch!
So I was trolling on the news sites and I found this :
May 23, 2004 — A bizarre new kids’ sex craze is sweeping the city’s elementary schools. Girls as young as 11 are stacking colorful rubber “sex bracelets” up their arms while their parents are unaware that each piece of the cheap jewelry represents a different sex act, according to a secret-code the kids share. Freekin’ cool ain’t it ? Getting sex at the age of 11. I wish I was that lucky 😛
and then I remembered this on Snopes.com :
Here’s the story from the New York Post and here’s the article that’s trying to debunk it. Nice ain’t it ? The Internet is so much fun …
CARDIFF (Reuters) – Manchester United have fought off a brave but ultimately toothless challenge from the lions of Millwall to win the FA Cup final 3-0 and lift the trophy for a record-extending 11th time.
Wonderful game, Milwall put up a great fight but couldn’t stop the onslaught by Man Utd. Great game all around for both teams.
Great goal by Christiano Ronaldo … Woot !
Man! This is cool! This was posted by using Hello from Picasa. It allows you to post pictures to your Blogger like a snap! I suggest you all try it! I’ve been using it for a while now on a Pic Dump for our Department. It’s helluva cool…